Gender and the Military

          Having no prior experience with military friends or family, I consulted several articles on the subject of being a military spouse.  In fact, I searched the Internet using ‘military spouse’ in an effort to gain a sense of how military wives’ experiences could differ from those of military husbands.  At first, I was transported to the 1950s The Donna Reed Show on a website called Military.com, where I found practical advice on how to furnish a military household by selecting durable china patterns (for resilience when packing for new deployments) or choosing a color scheme to complement the neutral walls in military housing. In addition, Tips for Newbies at Military.com offered advice on how to be “the most successful military wife” by maintaining a positive attitude, retaining hobbies and other interests, and bonding with the other wives (http://www.military.com/spouse/military-life/newbies-and-brides/tips-for-newbies.html). Gender bias on Military.com assumed the military spouse was the wife and guided her on how to be supportive to her husband’s career.  However, MilitaryOneSource.com had an article which underscored that life as a military husband can “clash with identity as a male” and be “challenging in the military setting, which emphasizes traditional ideas of masculinity” (http://www.militaryonesource.mil/health-wellness/marriage?content_id=274612) especially if the husband assumes the role of caregiver. This article made me realize that military wives hold a more traditional role than military husbands.  Also, while both men and women suffer from loneliness while the soldier is deployed, the military husbands may also encounter difficulties due to role reversal.  What struck me as most unusual, though, was the advice for the military husband – as it was geared toward curbing violent reactions to being a military spouse – in dealing with alcoholism, anger, drug abuse, and jealousy.  Aren’t military wives also subject to emotional reactions or dependency?  Of course, they are! Yet, the advice for military wives deals with housekeeping while the advice for military husbands deals with curbing anger.
           Contrary to this emasculated military husband, ads for joining the military convey an experience steeped in “heterosexual sexism, military masculinity, and imperialistic aggression” and “real manhood” (Dines 266). Ads to attract women to the military seek to influence them to rise beyond their treatment as weaker than or reliant upon men, making themselves self-reliant, strong, and independent through military service, and in fact, masculine in posture, appearance, and demeanor.  The Army recruiting posters (see below) are great examples of this.  Yet, despite making it appear that women can look and act like male soldiers, there is a double-standard in that ‘equal but different’ physical standards exist for women in the Marines. What this means is that the military wants women to join and is willing to lower the fitness standards for them to serve.  In her article 2008 article Sexuality, Gender and the US Military, author Melissa Trimble asserted that there “are real physical differences between men and women” which will play out in that “fewer women than men are physically and psychologically suited to combat, but it does not mean that all or almost all women are unsuitable” (http://dailycaller.com/2014/01/05/gender-equality-a-double-standard-for-women-in-the-military/2/).  If there is to be equality, then it must follow that whoever does the job must be so qualified.